Ahh....I'm currently relaxing in a nice warm bath while Abby naps. This is so beyond needed for me. The past few days I've really let myself be my own worst enemy. I've been way too focused on trying to induce this labor naturally that it's pretty much taken over my mind. I was in such a funk yesterday, which I blame myself for. Sure, I've been pretty miserable. My back pain at night is keeping me from getting any sleep. My tailbone pain is stopping me from even wanting to sit down, and definitely making standing up dreadful. And I've had some of the worst crotch pain of my life...but I won't go into that! Haha. On top of it all, the past week has been filled with nausea and a total lack of appetite. So yeah, none of that is fun. But I'm still trying to remind myself that this could be the last time I'm ever pregnant. And that's pretty crazy to think. Despite the pain, I want to treasure these last moments of feeling a baby moving inside me. I want to embrace how amazing my body is for being capable of carrying and growing a life inside of it. It might not be comfortable, but it's more than worth it!
I'm also a little thankful that I've gotten to this point of misery. It's made the whole "Abby not being my only baby" thing a little easier on me lately. I was initially feeling guilt over it - thinking the transition would be difficult for her and that I needed to soak up these last moments with just her. I still want to soak them up, but I'm in so much pain that it's taking away from my time with her. I'm not able to chase her around the house as easily. I can't bounce her on the yoga ball like she wants because my belly gets in the way. And the most simple of all, I'm not able to comfortably snuggle her on the couch because we don't both fit very well and can't get comfy. Once baby Isabelle is here, I can snuggle my little girl again! Sure, I might be exhausted at times...but at least I'll feel good enough to sit on the floor and play with my beautiful two-year-old.
So for now we wait! My body is progressing and telling us that it's ready for Izzy's arrival. It's just up to her when she decides to make her grand debut! We are ready and excited. :) Until she arrives, I will continue to pray for patience and peace while trying to relax and enjoy these last moments as a family of three!
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